Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Can You Be My Number Two?

Some people might see this as handy, helpful, crazy, outrageous. In any case, you may or may not read on:

Here's the title of her Question: Sentiments Ng Isang Kabit....
Her Story: MY story:.. I met this guy from work started from just a simple hi to having lunches together to talking and then finally resisting the urges of my superego, we did get intimate. only problem: he is married, with kids.I feel like i'm trapped. i'm at the end of the spectrum and it's just too hard to fathom how i got into this mess. I feel like I am falling in love with him and I just don't know what to do. He is very inlove with his family or i would guess the idea of being in a secure relationship all so loved and accepted by society but our passion is just mind blowing.gusto ko lang malaman ang opinion ninyo, advise ninyo criticism ninyo.help!!!! :(

My Opinion:
Baka naman kasi you see him so perfect bcos he is the only interesting person who makes you feel - different. And he kinda like boosts your ego and he kinda make you feel special. But, try to look at it again, maybe he does it to everybody. Maybe he's just plain like that - sweet, nice, friendly and all. I know wala ka naman paki-alam if tawagin ka ng names ng kung sino sinong tao as long as you're happy and he's happy with you, right? The thing is, is he specifically happy with you or nag-iilusyon ka lang? Baka naghahanap lang yan ng kasama, a friendly companion, at ikaw naman kung anu ano na ang pumapasok sa isip mo dahil ikaw mismo wala kang lovelife, wala kang social life, ni hindi ka man lang nakikipag date or nagta-try maghanap ng date, ni hindi mo i-open ang sarili for other possibilities bcos your whole self is so much dedicated and passionate on getting someone that you can never have.

Do you want me to slap your face or can you do that for me?

Let me say it again, he is someone that you can NEVER have. And well, human behaviour says that we tend to go after more on things that we cannot have while we take for granted the things that have been set for us on a silver platter. It's human nature. To go after that guy who really doesn't see you anything more than a friend - a close friend maybe.. To make yourself feel worthy of the same attention that he gives out to his wife and kids. To be in an illusion that you can be in the same place as his family and that you can have what they have bcos it's what you're actually after.

Wake up, kid. Life's answers nor happiness won't be when you've had that lovely, beautiful wedding, nor when you have that complete family with a loving husband and Promil-like kids. It won't be when you've got a house, a car, and all those things that you've dreamed of so that you'll have an almost-perfect life. If you go after these things (and even the things forbidden) --- what do you think this would all mean to you? Fulfillment? Contentment? Maybe. Bcos you got what you wanted. But until when? IF, just in case - hypothetically speaking, you'd be able to get the guy dump his wife and get his kids like you, would you be able to control his guilt feelings that he broke his family bcos of you? Not everything nor everybody can be controlled nor manipulated, most especially feelings - guilt feelings. Why wouldn't you be happy? Bcos you'd always go after the things the you don't, the perfections that you want, and you'll always be discontent with the present that you have.

Why don't you start trying to fight the unnecessary by going away or avoiding from him for some time? Look at him at another person's point of view, not yours. See him and his mistakes - his imperfections. Hate his imperfections and make yourself feel that you deserve somebody better than him. You now feel that you badly want him bcos your mind is telling you that he is all that you deserve. Get it? Your mind is telling you that he is all that you deserve that's why he's all you're after.

Why don't you be objective enough to at least ask yourself what kind of man you really want. I don't think it includes a married man, I'm telling you. So be objective, this guy you're talking about may be your own ideal guy but can he provide you enough? Is he emotionally mature enough? Is he mature enough in handling his current relationship? -> Which I don't think so bcos he got intimate with you. There are a lot of guys out there who wouldn't sing you "Could You Be My Number 2?" but instead would sing you "The Way You Look Tonight" or something as cheesy as that song.

Pahalagahan mo naman ang sarili mo kahit papano. Bakit ikaw mismo ang magdudulot ng sakit at pagdadalamhati sa sarili mo? Mahalin mo muna ang sarili mo, kasi para sakin parang hindi mo nga kilala ang sarili mo pati may asawa papatulan mo para lang maramdaman mong may halaga ka din. Kung sa palagay mo hanggang dyan ka na nga lang sa taong may asawa even if you're single and pretty, think again. Is he all that you deserve? Is that b@stard all you deserve. Di mo ba nakita, sha mismo pinili nyang saktan ka sa pagiging immature nya at pinatulan ka pa nya kahit alam nyang sha mismo may asawa at mga anak and he should be responsible for all his actions. For if there are actions, there would be appropriate consequences. I think if a man has been faced by such a tempt like you, best he would do is to tell you of and gently tell you to get a life and stop bugging him bcos he loves his wife and kids more than himself.

Isipin mo na lang din, kung halimbawa yang "intimacy" ay naging sobrang intimate at nabuntis ka, ano na lang ang gagawin mo? Demand him na panagutan nya ang anak mo? Ask him to sustain you financially? Tell him to annul his marriage so he can marry you? Talk to his wife and tell her all your frustrations, and maybe even make her your friend? Abort the kid if he asks you to? What are you going to tell your friends? Your parents? What do you think he's gonna do? What do you think the people around you are gonna do? What do you think YOU'RE gonna do?


I maybe over-reacting BUT this is reality. There is no such thing as over-reacting in life if it's your life.

1 comment:

Quiche Lorraine said...

For the yummyhappypeeps who needs some translation of this particular post from Filipino-English, please leave your comment and I shall do so. =P Cheers!