Monday, 30 March 2009

Willy-Nillies 30/03/09

You know the expression "one jujube at a time"? It's got a whole new meaning to me now. You see, it's been a while since I've been regularly attending church service. Not that I am a goody-two-shoes church girl or anything. It's just that there were other things that I was prioritizing then that I forgot that I also needed to feed my spiritual self too. So, there I go, for more than a month now, that I am (as much as I could) attending church for the sake of doing so.

When I started attending church again for the first time this year, all the faces I have seen were new. I haven't recognized any old-timer or something. Like as if all of them has went on with their lives alongside with them leaving the church as well. I felt peculiar, moreso, alienated. But what could I do? I told myself that I only have about 1 1/2 to 2 hours of time to spend every Sunday and I was just there for the preaching so what the heck, right? So there I went, Sunday after Sunday. It was a more-than-willing decision for me to go to that church, sit at the very last row, stretch my neck so that I could see the Pastor, and just feel like a ghostly visitor. Up until now, I actually don't know why am I keeping myself sort of distant to everyone else. Like Sunday for me is my anti-social day. No people. No greetings. No anything.

And it felt like I was one with myself (well, sorta). Like the whole time I was alone and was paying attention to the preacher, I was also observing the people that were around me and how they act, react, and all that. Sunday for me, though I'm alone, was a fun experience.

There would be also some times that I bring Yosh along. He's really a jolly, bouncing kid and has that unwavering energy that keeps up with any kid his age or even older than him. The joy that he has is very contagious. That sorts of haunts me (in a good way). And his smile is pasted my head until I don't know when. Kids do have a charming way of keeping their parent's heart without over-reacting nor demanding. And yes, seeing him at church is a very refreshing way to start my week. Even if I had to bring him along with me, feed him, keep up with his energy, and entertain him ---- whenever I spend time with him, I feel like I won a million bucks... everytime! Haha. I sometimes wish those feelings would readily turn out as real money too! Hehe.

Anyhow, I used to think that Yosh is a late speaker, and indeed he was. It was only about a month ago that he knew how to express himself in about two to three words (at most). Like, "Penge Pee-Po" (May I ask for a change?), or "Mommy Poo Poo", or "Tita Asan?" (Where's Auntie). However, it's amazing that he has this heart in him that really wants to communicate. That which wants to connect and be understood. He doesn't do a lot of blabbering anymore. He could name Sponge Bob, Batman, and Spiderman with his baby-ish enunciation 'cos he couldn't pronounce the names very well yet. It's more like my housemates and I just need a little getting used to the words he is speaking and we could talk to him already.

Awww... I'm going to reminisce these days that Y is still a baby... A toddler... A little boy. =)

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